she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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