every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize