I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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