i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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