You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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