I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
