So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
