it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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