Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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