Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
