I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
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Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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