I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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