3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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