Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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