Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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