Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
