Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
