He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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