I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i need some magic done to my vagina
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
