my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize