respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
