i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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