all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
