Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
