Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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