Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize