Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize