i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
