When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
