dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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