Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
