Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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