you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
