After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
