Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
