Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
