oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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