so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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