I showed him my bush... on skype.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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