best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
