Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
