After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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