I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
