we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
