Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He shit in the fireplace
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
