I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I want is dick and wine.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
