i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
