He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
