He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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