in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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