I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
