Got a toothbrush?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
