I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
