I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
