so explain again why im purple
no
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
